Maybe it's just that it's the end off the year or that I have loads of time my hand. Maybe I'm finally having a mid-life crisis. What it is I can not say. The thing that i'm sure of is that CHANGE is under way. Not change but CHANGE is under way. The place where the foundation of your house is reconstructed in a radical new way. The overwhelming feeling that I'm grasping with is a need for purpose and meaning in this life. I know that I feel very unstable and confused at this moment but if I trust change. A life with meaning and purpose awaits me.
It would be very difficult for me to complain about my life. It has had ups and downs but for the most part it has been rich. I have had a good life. It does seem however that I was lost in the motion of life. I had been caught in a whirlpool and thrashed around a bit. Lost in a walking coma, asleep if you will. Since then, The last four years I have worked long not always diligently battling demons. Some of them external: alcohol,cigarettes,addictions. Some of them my own battle of soul, mind and body. My time away working on myself has been good. I was extremely blessed to have the space to do this. Like I said, not much to complain about . Yet it is time to rejoin the world in a new dynamic way , as a new person and stop hiding from the world.
In this next year, it is my hope to trust the change before me and seek the path with heart and meaning . It's time to leave the confusion and doubt and trust the world.
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